Release
by Roxal
Summary: This was my swan song. Written far before anything beyond Another Side, Another Story was known about KHII. Contains lots of old speculation. Warnings: Language. Violence. Lemon. Death. Suicide. Status: Complete. [SoraRiku]
1. Slide your hands up

"Did you love me? I loved you. I loved you so much."  
  
So much.  
  
"Riku, I... I... No. Well, not in the way you mean! I love you like a friend, like a brother. Not like... That."  
  
Sora looked to his friend, half-afraid, half-confused. What was going on? Riku... Loved him? He could see the want pouring from those seagreen orbs, calling him closer, pulling him in.  
  
"It's ok... If you don't love me, I guess. But..." The older boy looked at him imploringly. "Could you do something for me? Only once, and never again... Unless you want to, of course." He grinned slyly.  
  
"W-What?" Sora felt cornered on the bent trunk of the Paopu. Riku could have such a dominating presence when he wanted to.  
  
"Kiss me." He stated plainly. "I'll start it off, but we can go as far as you want. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to." He looked down as he placed his hand tenderly upon the younger boy's. "All you have to do is just...  
  
"Kiss me back."  
  
"Kiss... Kiss you back? But... Why?" Sora blinked. Wouldn't that torture him more?  
  
"Because I think it's better to know. Just one kiss, and I'll never have to wonder what it would be like again. I promise you, Sora," he squeezed the boy's hand, "I promise that nothing will change between us. Just... Do this for me, and everything can go back to the way it was before."  
  
The two locked eyes, Sora blushing profusely as Riku gazed at him with an earnest the other had never seen before. He lifted his hand to caress the other's cheek, eyes begging. Slowly, Sora nodded his head. "Ok, if it will make you happy."  
  
Riku smiled and leaned into his companion, sealing their lips together in a light, chaste kiss.  
  
+  
  
His lips on mine felt strange at first, and suddenly I felt compelled to pull away. I didn't though, and the longer I held it, the better it felt. I leaned into him, not quite sure what my body was doing and why my brain had seemed to lose all control over it. Something about that warmth drew me to him. I wanted more of it, so afraid to lose that precious heat.  
  
His warmth.  
  
He said that we could move at my pace. I suppose he'd expected me to pull away when I first had those feelings of doubt, but I felt him relax a bit when I hadn't. Was I giving him the wrong impression by holding this kiss for so long? More importantly, was I deluding myself with these feelings? I just couldn't pull myself away. I wanted him. I didn't know why, but I did. I wanted him and that sweet warmth all for myself.  
  
His hand stroked my cheek and moved back into my hair, tangling in the thick strands. This was bliss. I needed more. With a great deal of nervousness, I parted my lips slowly, trailing my tongue across his lower lip. When his tongue met my own, however, I broke the passionate contact.  
  
"I'm sorry, I-I can't..." I panted, avoiding his eyes. "I should go."  
  
I could almost hear him nod as I jumped off the tree and ran down the stairs of the Seaside Shack. On the other side of the island, I found a palm tree to lean against so as to gather my thoughts.  
  
Riku.  
  
Dammit. I think I was falling in love with him then. I tried to think of the implications of what we had just done, but... They kept drifting back to how soft his lips were, how smooth his hair was, how he just radiated warmth. I felt myself getting hard at the mere thought of touching him again.  
  
Was this wrong? I didn't seem to care.  
  
So... What about everything? What about Kairi? Well, it wasn't like she'd care if I dated someone else. We kissed one about a month before and both agreed it just wasn't right. I had an overpowering feeling that I was meant to be with someone else. She didn't mind. She told me it didn't feel right to her either. We were friends, not lovers. I was happy she understood and felt the same. But with Riku...  
  
It didn't feel that way.  
  
It felt good. That was why I couldn't pull away. Something deep inside me seemed to wake up when his lips met mine; some strange, new yet familiar feeling tugged at my heart now, making me want him. Want to feel him. Want to feel him from the inside.  
  
It was dark now, and my erection was almost painful. I looked around slowly to make sure no one was there. There wasn't, so I unzipped my pants, sitting on my heels and rocking back and forth gently to the beating of the waves.  
  
"Riku."  
  
That warmth was intoxicating. I needed it back, but... I didn't want things to change. I hated change; I still do, even if I never really showed it. Yes, I became accustomed to being the Keyblade Master very quickly, but that was different. That was an emergency. To tell the truth, I never wanted to leave the island. Riku's raft plan scared me to death, though I tried not to let anyone know. Hell, I even helped them. But that didn't mean I wanted to go. I was afraid of how our relationships would change. Though I did want a deeper involvement between Kairi and I (and though I wouldn't have admitted it then, Riku), I didn't want to leave the other behind. I wanted things to be the way they were. That's why Riku's promise a little while ago meant so much. He told me things wouldn't change.  
  
But they would.  
  
My motions became faster and more intense and I fell to my knees, thinking only of him. I wanted him, needed him. I wanted to feel him inside and out. If only I could act with my heart instead of my head sometimes. I came and stifled a scream that echoed my feelings at the moment. I was trapped, in a way, between love and rationality. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, trying to catch my breath. What should I do? Should Itell him? No, I need to think. But how could I think if everytime I was near him I'd want to rip his clothes off? I needed to avoid him. That would be my plan for a while. Avoid, avoid, avoid.  
  
"Good plan." I muttered sarcastically and fell asleep in the sand.  
  
+++  
  
That was Sora's POV incase you're really slow. ^_^ Damn, this has been in my head for four fucking days. Heh, Sora's a naughty boy, ne? XD Well, work permitting, I'll continue soon. I've got a lot of it planned out so far. 


	2. Under my clothes

I woke up that morning with a bit more confidence in 'the plan'. Avoiding him seemed like a good idea. I could be casual about it, I guess. The question was, though, what now? I could do one of two things. One: I could just hurry up and go home before anyone got there, but, since Riku was my best friend, he'd think I was sick and want to see me and, well, Riku in my bedroom was not what I needed right then. Two: I could stay here and just ignore him, mean as it sounded. I could cling onto Kairi or Tidus or someone and pretend I didn't see him if he started to come over, but the problem with that was-  
  
"Hey, Sora."  
  
SHIT! "Huh? Oh, hi Riku." I turned around casually and smiled at him. Dammit, dammit, dammit.  
  
"What's up?" He asked, then noting my rumpled hair and clothes, "you didn't sleep out here, did you?"  
  
"Yeah." I said sheepishly, avoiding his eyes.  
  
"You really shouldn't. I don't want my dueling partner getting sick." He laughed and hit me lightly on the shoulder. Yep, he hadn't changed. That was what I wanted, but... It just didn't feel right. "Speaking of duels, you wanna go a round?"  
  
"Maybe later..." I sighed looking down at my shoes.  
  
"Well, we could always sit here for an hour. C'mon, Sora, you know there's nothing to do here but fight and race! Or maybe talk." His voice dropped slightly at the end of his sentence. He may have been hiding his feelings well, but they were still there.  
  
"Riku..." I looked back up at him, into those gorgeous eyes, "You can't just pretend it didn't happen."  
  
"I told you I would." He softened his expression. "What do you want me to do, Sora?"  
  
What /did/ I want him to do? "I don't know... Just... Acknowledge it."  
  
"How?" He subconsciously scooted closer to me.  
  
"Well, what happened happened." I put my face closer to his without even realizing it.  
  
"Do you want it to happen again?"  
  
We moved closer and closer to each other. Riku closed his eyes and my lips brushed his as I spoke the words that seemed to be our fate.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
He pulled away, trying to disguise the hurt in his eyes. "Sora, please... If you want me, then tell me. Don't torture me like this."  
  
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to." I looked away.  
  
"It's okay." He rubbed my back reassuringly. "Just... Be more mindful of your actions, okay?" I nodded and we sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.  
  
"So... What now?" I regained my composure and looked back at him.  
  
He sighed and leaned back. "I dunno. It's later. Wanna duel now?"  
  
"Guess so." He stood and offered his hand to me, pulling me to my feet. We walked to the island where the Paopu tree grew, the tension so thick one could almost taste it. We both wanted to jump each other, but I was preventing that. I cursed my brain as we arrived at the end of the bridge. This should be interesting.  
  
+++  
  
Kinda short. Oh well. Working so fucking much. I'm working all damn day on Christmas Eve. Yaay! +do not fear the sarcasm+ Beh. With any luck, Ch 3 will be out tonight. Check out my site, more RikuSora crap. (Click my homepage and then click 'Urban Angel Productions'. I MUST HAVE KINGDOM HEARTS FINAL MIX! X3 


	3. Let me feel that heat

I felt a bit uneasy as I stood at the end of the bridge, clutching my wooden sword in my hands. Riku looked as able as ever, standing in his own fighting position.  
  
Even though we'd fought with real swords before, with anger and even real fear, we still made time for our practice fights. Now that we had real skill, they were a lot longer and often more painful than before we left the islands. It didn't seem to bother us. It was something to do, and, what can I say? The competition was always a plus; striving for dominance over the other.  
  
My breathing became a bit more rapid as I silently counted to three. The second I mouthed "go," I lunged at him, aiming for his chest, but he gracefully sidestepped and caught me in the back. I rounded on him and hit him hard in the stomach.  
  
I took advantage of his weakened state by landing blow after blow on his upper body. Eventually, I knocked him onto his back and took a moment to rest. Big mistake. He kicked me hard in the ribs, knocking the wind out of me.  
  
Damn, I forgot that he did that! I mentally cursed myself and was hit by a barrage of strikes from Riku's sword. In his fervor, though, he hit me on the side of my face. I tasted blood.  
  
He hadn't meant to hit me, and I could immediately see fear and regret in his eyes. He slowed his attack and I hurried up to regain control. I succeeded in pushing him over again, this time avoiding his kick. I caught him from behind and continued whacking away at him. Soon I'd defeated him; time seemed to slow as he took that last fall.  
  
Exhausted as well, and a bit dizzy from being smacked in the face, I collapsed onto my stomach next to him, my arm draped idly across his chest.  
  
"Good fight." He panted breathlessly, smiling at me.  
  
"Yeah." I replied, smiling as well. I licked a drop of blood from the corner of my mouth.  
  
"Sorry about that." He motioned to my mouth with his eyes, that regret surfacing again.  
  
"Don't worry about it." I grinned at him. "Doesn't hurt."  
  
"Good." His eyes softened. "I don't want you to hurt." He closed his eyes. "So, I guess you won? You're getting better."  
  
"Damn straight I won." I tightened my grip on his shoulder, turning on my side. "And I claim my prize."  
  
Looking back, that was probably a stupid thing to do, but the adrenaline and everything else I was feeling at the moment (mostly victory) caused me to just... Go for it. I sealed our lips together, pulling him closer to me. After his initial shock faded, I parted my lips and slid my tongue into his mouth. He responded most eagerly, licking my lips and exploring my mouth. The coppery taste of my blood and the sweetness of his saliva created an intoxicating mix with an effect equal to that of ambrosia. How I needed him at that moment.... I'll never be able to fathom the depth of my feelings then.  
  
I pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting our lips. I smiled at him with half-lidded eyes.  
  
He looked at me with mild surprise, trying to hide the obvious happiness behind them. "So, you want to... Be with me?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Yes."  
  
He smiled widely and kissed me again. I accepted him graciously, pulling his body closer to mine. I moved my hand to the front of his shirt, unzipping it slowly. Naturally, he didn't resist. I began to pull it off of him, causing him to wince.  
  
"You alright?" I said, voice full of concern.  
  
"Yeah, just a little sore." He smirked at me.  
  
"Maybe we should save that for later, then." I pulled him close to me and buried my face in his hair. "We should rest."  
  
I fell asleep rather quickly, my arms wrapped around his waist, his around my shoulders. Heh, we would have time for more intimate contact later.  
  
+++  
  
Yay! Two chappies in one night! That should make up for me being late later, if I am. Work. Beh. I guess I should give you background info, for the two or three of you wondering what the timeline is on this thing. It's, oh, say, a year after the game, making Sora 15 and Riku 16. We'll just say that Sora found him and the secret trailer never happened... OR DID IT? MWAHAHAHA! And the chapter titles: It's a song I made up while I was on my break today. I just felt like using it. Chapter titles are arbitrary as far as I'm concerned. The chorus goes:  
  
Slide your hands up  
  
Under my clothes  
  
Let me feel that heat  
  
And nobody knows  
  
What we do  
  
When the doors are closed  
  
Nobody knows  
  
Nobody knows but us  
  
Oh, and this fic earned me my first flame! If you're curious, read the reviews. You'll know it when you see it. It's exactly what I thought a flame would be: unintelligible, extremely general, and just really, really dumb. 


	4. And nobody knows

I woke slowly, still clutching his body to mine. Eyes still closed, I breathed deeply, taking in his scent and his being. How I wished we could always be that way.  
  
How I wish we could be that way again.  
  
I moved one hand up his back, the loose cloth of his open shirt sliding over my fingers. He was so soft, so fragile. And he was mine. "Riku." I whispered softly near his ear, my breath causing him to stir slightly. He sighed and I felt his hands trail along my shoulder blades and down my back, resting on my hips.  
  
"Hey" He said quietly, his sleepy eyes meeting mine in a peaceful gaze. It was so nice to trust someone so much that I could sleep with them. Our relationship now stemmed beyond trust and friendship, this had to be love. It just /had/ to be. To be this close, to feel this wa-  
  
"Hey yourself."  
  
"AH!" I sat straight up, dropping Riku a bit roughly. I saw Kairi sitting next to us laughing. How long had she been there? "Shit, Kairi! Don't do that!"  
  
"Nyah, I'll do what I want." She smiled and stuck out her tongue.  
  
Riku sat up and rubbed the back of his head. I must've dropped him harder than I thought. "What's going on? Oh." He noted Kairi's presence. "Kairi."  
  
"Riku." She replied casually. I had noticed a lot of tension between them since Kairi and I had kissed about a month before. Even though we'd decided that it wasn't right for us to be together, word spread quickly. That first week, they looked like they /hated/ each other. At least they could acknowledge the other's presence now. Heh, I knew Riku could get jealous, but I'd never thought he'd get that mad at Kairi for something she regretted doing.  
  
"Would you guys stop it?" I shot them both pleading glances. "I'm getting sick of this. You two have been fighting for over a month now and I'm stuck in the middle. It's driving me crazy."  
  
"We're not fighting." Kairi stated matter-of-factly. "I'm just waiting for him to apologize." She motioned to Riku.  
  
"Me? What about you! What about what you did!" He looked at her incredulously.  
  
"What /I/ did? Hey, you hadn't claimed him! As far as I was concerned, he was fair game. Put a label on him next time so I know before I offend you, your highness." She glared at him.  
  
Riku scowled at her. He really had no reason to be mad. She was right; there had been no reason for her not to kiss me. I was single, and we had been flirting for a long time. Our kiss wasn't really planned, it just kind of happened. We both felt awkward after that and agreed it wasn't right. I guess Tidus or someone saw us kiss and told the others. When Riku found out, there was a definite change in the mood of the island. And I had been stuck in the middle.  
  
"I just want you to apologize for what you said." Kairi stared at him.  
  
My eyes widened as I looked over to him. "What did you say?"  
  
He pulled his knees up to his chest and looked away from us. "I said... Certain things to her. ...Called her a name. I didn't really mean it. Well, not now. I might've meant it then. I just... Got jealous."  
  
"You can't be jealous of something you don't have." She crossed her arms. "Though it looks like you have him now." She glanced over at me and half- smiled, but scowled once she had Riku in her cross hairs again. "I just want you to say you're sorry. I don't care that you have him now. In fact, I'm glad. When we kissed, he told me that it didn't feel right to him, like he was supposed to be with someone else. I'm just gonna take a wild stab here and assume that someone else is you."  
  
He looked back over to her, resting his chin on his knees. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, Kairi. I'll try not to let my 'jealousy' interfere with my judgement anymore. Just as long as you don't kiss him /now/, then we're cool." He smiled at her, though a bit half- heartedly.  
  
Kairi uncrossed her arms and smiled at him. "Apology accepted. Was that so hard?" She laughed. "I'm glad you're together, really. I always thought there was something behind those friendly glances. Guess I was right!" She slapped me on the shoulder and stood up. "I assume you two want some 'alone time'?" Riku nodded at her and she laughed again. "Well, you might want to find somewhere more secluded than this. But, then again, the sun's almost set. We should head home."  
  
I noted the darkening sky and stood as well. "Damn, my mom's gonna kill me!" I looked to Riku and grinned at him. "Guess we won't have much time to cherish our relationship. TAKE ME NOW!" I jumped on him and kissed him, then rolled off, laughing at his shocked expression. I sometimes forget how young we were, how young I am even now.  
  
"Damn, Sora, I didn't know you were like that." He stared at me, still wide- eyed, but eventually he burst into laughter as well. "C'mon, let's go home."  
  
The three of us walked to the dock and I noted that only our boats were left. Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka must've gone home hours ago. So why had Kairi stayed? She must've sat there for a while waiting for us to wake up. Well, Kairi's weird like that, I guess.  
  
I was finding it hard to keep my eyes off Riku, making it difficult to row. He had since zipped his shirt back up, its tight fabric showing his muscles flex and relax with every powerful stroke. Must... Look... Away... Aw, why bother? I could row back to the main island in my sleep. But looking at him? Well, I could try.  
  
By the time we docked again, it was dark. The feeble lamplight didn't help much as I stumbled to get out of my small boat. Riku laughed as he pulled me up and into his arms. He kissed me gently and the light played on his face as he spoke. "You're so clumsy sometimes! How will you ever protect me?" He smiled widely and hugged me.  
  
I wanted to protect you...  
  
We waved goodbye to Kairi as she set off in the direction of her house. Riku held out his hand and I took it, intertwining our fingers. "I'll walk you home." He looked so beautiful in the half-light. I smiled appreciatively at him. His parents wouldn't care if he were late. Mine, though...  
  
The walk to my house was total bliss. Just to have him by my side, that warmth only inches away, I could stay like that forever. The deserted streets added to the feeling that we were the only people in the world. When we arrived at the rickety gate to my house, he kissed me quickly one last time and waited until I had shut the door before he left.  
  
"SORA! Do you have /any/ idea what time it is?!" My mother shouted at me. She was sitting in a chair in the living room. Thankfully, she could not see the front gate from there. I mentally smiled at that.  
  
"No, mom. I'm sorry. I fell asleep and didn't realize how late it was 'til Kairi woke us up." I muttered apologetically.  
  
"Who's 'us'?" She looked at me questioningly.  
  
"Huh? Oh, Me an' Riku. We were fighting and I guess it took a lot out of us. Just collapsed right there." I grinned at her.  
  
She smiled at me and hugged me. "You and your fighting. Maybe it wouldn't wear you out so much if you slept at night. Now go on, straight to bed!"  
  
"Yes, mom." I sighed exasperatedly for effect and tromped up the stairs to my bedroom. Once the door was shut, I threw my clothes on the ground and climbed under the covers. For the second night in a row I would dream only of him.  
  
As I have every night since.  
  
+++  
  
Gar, hate my job, hate my job, hate my job. Can barely even write e-mail. .  
  
Anyway, HINT! HIIIIINT about the end of the story at the beginning of this chapter! +highlights it, circles it in red, hops around it pointing, then undoes everything she just did and walks away whistling+ If you know what it is and what it meant, DON'T SAY SO IN YOUR REVIEW! Some people are slower than you are, love, and they'll catch on later when the hints become bigger and more frequent.  
  
Well, I'm off to shoot customers. 


	5. What we do

I was pleasantly surprised that morning when I awoke to find Riku lying next to me. In my sleep I had wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close so that our foreheads touched. I stifled a laugh and kissed him, brushing a few strands of silver out of his face. "Good morning, beautiful."  
  
He moaned and smiled at me, his sleepy eyes meeting mine. "Morning." He kissed me as well and snuggled closer to me. He was still fully clothed and I blushed slightly when I realized I was only wearing my boxers. Well, it wasn't like it mattered.  
  
"When did you get here?" I asked casually.  
  
"I climbed in your window right after you fell asleep. I never went home." He smiled warmly at me. His eyes emitted a comforting glow that I miss so much.  
  
"You never went home? Well, I guess your parents wouldn't care." I grinned at him. "You need to be loved."  
  
"Yes I do. By you, and only you." He kissed me deeply, sliding his tongue past my willing lips. We melted into each other. His warmth... It's all I'll ever need. To have that ripped away... "I love you." His eyes burned with passion and honesty. I'd never felt like that before. My heart fluttered and skipped a beat. This feeling was so good. I never wanted it to end.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes, burying my face in his chest. "Don't ever leave me." I whispered.  
  
"I won't. I can't." But you did... He stroked my hair gently, kissing the top of my head. "As long as you love me, Sora, I'll never leave you."  
  
I felt his hand slide down my back and under the waist of my boxers. I tensed slightly but quickly relaxed at this contact. I kissed his chest and moved my hands up into his hair, moaning slightly as his hand moved lower.  
  
Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming down the hallway. "Crap. You have to get out of here." He quickly scrambled out the window, leaning in halfway and I sat on my knees still reaching for him over the windowsill. "I'll meet you later, okay?"  
  
"Okay." He kissed me one last time as I heard the door open. He ducked down quickly as I turned around to face my mother.  
  
"I never thought you'd be up this early, Sora." She grinned with her hands on her hips. She was so much like me at times. Or the other way around.  
  
"Just watching the sunrise." I matched her grin.  
  
"Well, if you want to go to the other island today, you'd better get your chores done. I thought I'd wake you at the crack of dawn so you could get an early start."  
  
"That's mom, always thinking of me." I laughed and hopped off my bed, scrambling to pick clothes off the floor and get dressed.  
  
"When you're done cleaning your room, you can come down for breakfast. I'll have more for you to do after that." She smiled and left the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
"So I guess you'll be late, then?" Riku called quietly from the window.  
  
"You're still here?" I smirked at him. "Yeah, guess I will. You picked a great day to profess your love for me. Chore day. Ha." I jumped up on my bed and kissed him, slipping him some tongue. I pulled away smiling. "That will have to suffice until later, okay?"  
  
"Okay." He smiled and climbed off the ledge outside my window. I watched as he ran down the island toward the dock and out of sight. Out of sight, but not out of mind.  
  
+++  
  
Beh, I swear, they think they're alive, up there in my head. X. Anyway, Riku's words... When I wrote them, they hit me, right here. I just... I knew what love was, how love is wasted so much. I work with a girl who's 17 and has a two-year-old daughter. I wonder now, how many times did her boyfriend tell her he loved her before she got pregnant? How many times did he tell her he loved her after she had their baby? Love is so precious. People think that they can say it anytime they want. You can't...  
  
You can't. 


	6. When the doors are closed

I worked as fast as I could to finish my chores that morning. Around noon, I'd all but given up.  
  
"Moooom, pleeease can I go now? I'll finish up when I get home." I gave her my best pout, standing there with a dishtowel in my hand.  
  
She gazed at me disapprovingly with her hands on her hips, but she eventually faltered. "Oh, fine. I guess you've done enough for today. Go. Go play with your friends."  
  
I grinned at her and hugged her, then hurried out the door. "Thanks, mom!" I called after her as I ran out.  
  
I went straight to the dock and hopped in my boat. All that cleaning had taken a lot out of me, but I had renewed strength, wanting to get out there to the other island. If only to see him again...  
  
Naturally, I found him sitting on the Paopu, watching the clouds drift by. I wondered if he still thought about other worlds when he looked out at that sky. This was the only world I needed. But if you want to go somewhere else, love, I'll follow you.  
  
I sat on the trunk next him, sliding my arm around his waist. He did not stir, but continued to stare at the clouds. "Something wrong?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, no, nothing." He snapped out of his trance and smiled at me.  
  
"You sure? You looked pretty out of it." I tilted my head.  
  
"Yeah, well, you know me. Always daydreaming." He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands slid oh-so- slowly up the back of my shirt and then back down to the waist of my shorts. I put my hands on his and looked into his eyes.  
  
"Kairi was right. If we want to do anything like that, we should find somewhere more secluded." I smiled slyly at him.  
  
"Like where?" He smirked at me. I paused. Yes, where? Well, there's only one place that's secret, I supposed.  
  
"C'mon." I grabbed his hand and dragged him down the stairs of the Seaside Shack, up the ramp near the waterfall, and through the bushes to the Secret Place.  
  
"Ha, yeah, I guess no one really comes in here often besides us." He casually leaned against one of the walls and let out a chuckle. "The looks we must've gotten when you dragged me in here."  
  
I laughed and shook my head. "Who cares what they think? I don't need anyone but you." I slid my arms around his waist, kissing him as passionately as I could while we were both laughing. "Now where were we?" I grabbed the zipper on his shirt and pulled it down, trailing one finger along his chest as I did so. The loose shirt slid easily off his shoulders and he began to remove my own.  
  
My shirt fell to the floor to meet his. He removed his gloves one finger at a time. When he had finished, he ran his hands down my back and then up my chest, resting them on my cheeks.  
  
"You know, I've never really felt you. It's always been through gloves or clothes. I've never really felt /you/." He gazed longingly into my eyes.  
  
"And how do I feel?" I crooned seductively into his ear.  
  
"Like everything I've ever wanted." He kissed me roughly, slipping his tongue into my mouth. His hands trailed down my back again, this time stopping at the zipper on my shorts. He pulled it down, removing them along with my boxers. I moaned into his shoulder, my grip tightening on his hips. He moved his hands up my thighs, his fingers touching me lightly in places I'd never let another person touch. I took a sharp breath and instinctively moved my hips closer to him. I unbuckled his pants to the best of my ability. My mind was already foggy from want. I tried to mirror his moves but he stopped me. "Let me do this for you." He whispered in my ear, planting small kisses along my neck and down my chest.  
  
He dropped to his knees, his hands still gripping my hips. I grabbed his shoulders, tense and expectant of what he would do next. My blood was pumping fast and the adrenaline produced a feeling similar to that of fighting. But this was a different sort of fight altogether.  
  
His tongue against my body was incredible. That feeling... I tried not to scream. I'd never felt like that before. Physical closeness and emotional bonds were now two things I would forever hold in my mind as being of the utmost importance. His head moved in time with my hips. My hand tangled in his hair as I let out a strangled moan. I needed him so much at that moment.  
  
So much...  
  
"RIKU!" I came in his mouth, digging my fingers into his shoulder to the point that my knuckles began to turn white. I tilted my head back in sheer ecstasy, letting go of him and running my free hand through my hair. He released me and his lips met mine, sealing us together in a deep kiss. His mouth tasted bitter but inviting. I sucked on his tongue, savoring the taste of us on his lips.  
  
He broke the contact and rested his arms idly on my lower back. I touched my forehead to his as we both panted heavily. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his nose. "Thank you." I smiled.  
  
"Huh?" He looked at me questioningly.  
  
"You said you did this for me. I was just thanking you." I laughed, and soon he did too.  
  
"You can do the same for me later." He grinned and pinched me. I looked at him disapprovingly but laughed. Later...  
  
We got dressed and slumped down against one of the cave walls. "I never thought we'd do anything like /that/ in here." I smiled.  
  
"I did." I gave him a shocked look. "But only once!" He laughed and slapped me on the shoulder. "What do you want? I couldn't have the real thing, so I daydreamed."  
  
"So /that's/ what you think about when you're all alone on that tree." I smirked at him.  
  
"Well, not /all/ the time. I think about other things." He looked down and half-smiled.  
  
"Like what?" I asked curiously.  
  
"Like... What happened last year." He sounded sad, though he was still smiling. He had such a funny way of showing any emotion other than love... And jealousy.  
  
"Don't. It's over, Riku. We don't need to care about it anymore." I pulled him closer to me, my arms around his neck.  
  
"I can't help it. Those feelings... The things that I felt when I was lost... They're coming back. I think /he's/ coming back, Sora. I don't want him to. I don't want him to be near me." There was a hollow bitterness with those last words. I knew whom he was talking about. Riku had told me about what Ansem had done to him. I cried for him once, though not in his presence. How anyone could do such things for power I'll never understand.  
  
How anyone could kill so indiscriminately...  
  
+++  
  
MERRY CHRISTMAS! 


	7. Nobody knows

Riku didn't sleep with me that night. I guess he didn't /need/ to, but I would've preferred it if he had. My sleep was a bit restless. "I think he's coming back." His words haunted me. What if he /was/ coming back? I'd defeated him before, so it shouldn't be a big deal, right? But...  
  
He had lived.  
  
So I hadn't /really/ defeated him, just kind of... Postponed any further attacks on the worlds. I looked up out my window, suddenly afraid that stars would start randomly burning out and a giant mass of purple energy would light up the sky.  
  
I believed Riku when he said Ansem might be coming back because who would know better than him? Much as I hate to admit it, he was still connected to Ansem somehow, whether it was through his heart or his mind I still don't know, nor do I care, but the point was that he could still hear him sometimes. He told me once that he could hear him calling his name in his sleep. This frightened me but also woke up my protective instincts. I'd saved him before, I'd save him again, I thought.  
  
I thought...  
  
I sighed and rolled over, staring at the floor. What now? If he came back, what would he do? What would we all do? Would I be needed again? And what of Riku? Would Ansem want his vessel back? I shuddered at that thought. I'd never let that happen, Never.  
  
Great, now I was all worked up and wouldn't get any sleep at all. I needed to take a walk. I got quietly out of bed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a jacket. I sneaked out the window and climbed down the trellis on the side of the house. The vines on it were all but dead, but at least it served some useful purpose. It was kind of chilly (Florida nights get down to 50 in the summer sometimes, and when you're used to 90 degree weather, that's pretty damn cold) so I zipped up my jacket and crossed my arms.  
  
I walked around aimlessly for about half an hour, turning things over in my head. Eventually, I arrived at my subconscious destination: Riku's house. I sighed again, half-smiling at the fact that I knew the way to his house even when I was wrapped up in thinking about the end of the universe.  
  
I crept around to the back of his house and picked up a handful of gravel from his mother's flower garden. I mentally picked out which window was his and proceeded to throw the pieces of gravel at it until he finally got up and opened his window. I smiled and waved at him a bit energetically. He just smiled and shook his head.  
  
"What is it?" He whispered down to me.  
  
"Get out here!" I whispered back, motioning with my hand.  
  
"How?" He made an exasperated motion with his arms. His bedroom was on the second floor and, unlike mine, had no ledge under it, nor was there a conveniently located trellis.  
  
"Uh..." I stared around for a moment, at a loss. I hadn't really thought about how he'd get down, but then again I hadn't planned on coming here either. "You could... Sneak downstairs and leave through the back door." I smiled sheepishly up at him.  
  
"Yeah. Great plan, genius. Well, if I get caught, I'm blaming you. 'It's all Sora's fault! He /forced/ me to come out!'" He grinned at me.  
  
"You could always jump." I smiled and held out my arms. "I'll catch you." He smirked and shook his head again.  
  
"I'll take my chances with my parents, thanks." He disappeared from his window and what seemed like an eternity later he came out through the back door.  
  
"You sure took your time." I crossed my arms playfully.  
  
"Can't be too careful." He smiled. "So, what did you want?"  
  
"To see you, of course." I kissed him lightly. "And to take a walk. I was getting lonely by myself."  
  
"A walk? Oh no, what's wrong?" He gave me a look of mock concern.  
  
"Wrong? Why would anything be wrong?" I started to walk around to the front of his house, he following closely behind.  
  
"C'mon, Sora, you know you only take these little midnight strolls when something's bothering you. So what is it?" He wrapped an arm around my shoulder.  
  
"Well..." I stopped and looked down. "It's about... What you said earlier today."  
  
His expression changed, but barely so. "What did I say?"  
  
"You said you thought Ansem was coming back." I looked into his eyes, showing a bit of fear. "Are you sure?"  
  
He released me and looked down. "I don't know. I think so... I know he's still alive. He's out there somewhere, Sora. Waiting."  
  
"For what?" I showed concern.  
  
"For an opportunity, I guess. If he is coming back, I don't know why he's waiting so long. Shouldn't he just do it? Maybe he's waiting for me; for me to be weak." His face changed to show a bit of self-hatred. "I don't want to be weak."  
  
"You're not." I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close to me. "You're anything but."  
  
I felt him breathe deeply against my shoulder. "If I /am/ weak, at least I'll have you to protect me, Sora." He placed his hand on the back of my neck and kissed me deeply. I tried, love...  
  
He broke the kiss and grabbed my hand, stroking it with his thumb. "No matter what happens, no matter who tries to tear us apart, I'll always be with you, Sora. I love you. Nothing can change that."  
  
"I know." I touched my forehead to his. "I love you, too, Riku. I'll never let you go."  
  
We continued to walk hand-in-hand until it was almost dawn. We didn't talk much after the previous exchange, but we didn't need to. Sometimes all you need is to be close to the one you love. I need that now, more than ever. Once again, we were more concerned with getting me home than him. His parents would just assume he left early, whereas my mother would freak out if she thought I'd left before dawn.  
  
"Guess I won't get any sleep, then." I grinned at him.  
  
"Neither will I" He smirked. "But I guess we could always fall asleep on the island or something."  
  
"Or something." I smiled. He laughed and hit me on the shoulder.  
  
"You're such a pervert, Sora!" I responded to this by kissing him deeply, letting my tongue explore his mouth as I tangled my fingers in his hair. When I pulled away, he laughed again. "Now that 'or something' is starting to sound pretty good."  
  
"Later." I stroked his face. "Right now I have to pretend I've been sleeping."  
  
He smiled at me and I climbed up the side of the house and back through my window. I plopped down on my bed, removing my jacket and tossing it on the floor. The bed felt really inviting and I was tired so I fell asleep almost instantly. My mother would be up any minute to wake me up, though, but at that moment I didn't really care.  
  
+++  
  
This is utterly pathetic. My schedule recently: Sleep 'til 7 am, play KH 'til 10 am, eat breakfast, go to work, get yelled at by bitchy customers, go home around 9pm, play KH 'til 3am, browse FF.net 'til 5am, sleep, repeat. At this rate I'm going to kill myself.  
  
I know, I know, I haven't updated for a while, but with that schedule, you think I have time to write? Ok, I /do/ have time to write, but, dammit, I hadn't played KH since October and I'd forgotten how fun and horribly addicting it was. Plus, now I look for all the slashy connotations behind the cinema scenes. Take the whole Paopu crap thing, for instance. Nobody mentions Kairi. Really. Come now, why would Riku give Sora a damned Paopu unless he wanted to share it with him? I mean, isn't Riku supposed to like Kairi too? So why would he give Sora a Paopu to give to Kairi? How often do people say, "Well, gee, I really like this person but so do you, so here's a rose for you to give to them. Have fun."? Stupid ass. Oops, sorry. Then the little, "You know you want to try it." He almost sounds like he's challenging him. "Try it with me, love. Unless you're afraid." But anyway, continuing on, the next day when you talk to Selphie, she gets all romantic. "You're supposed to share the Paopu with someone you really care about. Then you'll be together forever. Blah blah blah love blah blah fate blah romantic." So when you talk to her again, she says something like, "Are you okay? You look like something's bothering you." Well, maybe it's the fact that his best friend practically told him he loved him last night. God. Do Square and Disney think at /all/ before they do things? If you look for their love, you'll find it. Heh, it was probably all Square's doing anyway.  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, who guilted me into this. ^_^ 


	8. They think they know what love is

It was a muggy, hot, typical Florida day. I sighed exasperatedly as my mother called up the stairs for me to get up. I felt like I was drunk. I'd gotten maybe 30 or 40 minutes of sleep. I almost didn't want to make the trip to the other island. Almost.  
  
I rolled off my bed onto the floor with a thump. My mother let out an audible gasp on the first floor and I smiled. She must've thought I'd knocked my dresser over on myself or something. I pushed myself up and dressed in my usual attire, barely summoning up the strength to zip up my shirt. I yawned loudly and nearly fell back asleep where I was, but I pushed myself onward to the front door, giving my mother a tired 'goodbye' as I went.  
  
"Sora!" She called after me as I went, "don't you want any breakfast?"  
  
"I'll get some later." I replied in a daze. I needed sleep badly. And where better to sleep than in his arms?  
  
My mother shook her head as she went back inside, no doubt muttering something about killing myself at this rate. My head swam as I walked down the path to the dock and my boat. Riku's was already gone, of course. He must've gone straight there after he dropped me off. I smirked and yawned again, trailing a hand up through my hair. He was so predictable at times. I climbed into my boat and rowed sleepily to the other island, hoping I wouldn't fall asleep in the middle of the ocean.  
  
The physical activity perked me up a bit and I was somewhat more awake when I reached the shore. Instinct led me to him. That, and the knowledge that he'd be where he always was. As I lifted myself onto the trunk of the Paopu, I felt my sleepiness return. I looked to him with half-lidded eyes. He looked as awake as ever, and I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder.  
  
"So tired..." I mumbled, snuggling up to his side. He wrapped an arm around my waist and nearly laughed.  
  
"/You/ were the one who got us up in the middle of the night." He ruffled my hair with his other hand.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." I yawned yet again and licked my lips dazedly. "Maybe I should've eaten breakfast."  
  
This time he did laugh, letting go of me to climb the tree. I almost fell off but steadied myself and watched as he climbed back down, carrying a large, yellow fruit in his hand. "You can have this," he held it out to me, "that is, if you don't mind sharing with me."  
  
"Not at all." I took the offered fruit from him and broke it in half, handing him the larger potion. He smiled at me and waited for me to take the first bite. I did, and he followed suit, closing his eyes as he finished off his piece. I savored mine for a while, tasting the sweetness of its smooth texture. It was much like a Starfruit, similar in shape and feeling. (See footnote.)  
  
When I had finished my piece, I looked up into his eyes. That comforting glow had returned. I smiled warmly at him and all but collapsed into his arms. He rubbed my back with one hand while running the other through my hair. "Now we'll always be together." I mumbled into his chest.  
  
Always.  
  
"We would've always been together even without the Paopu." He smiled down at me. "My love for you is enough." He brought his hand under my chin and tilted my head up, sealing our lips together in a light kiss. I leaned into it, trailing my hands up his back to his neck. I sighed into his lips, he taking advantage of it and slipping his tongue into my mouth. He licked my lower lip before gently nipping it and moving down my neck. I moaned in pleasure as his mouth found its way to my collarbone, licking and nipping and sucking the smooth skin as he went. He moved a hand to the zipper of my shirt, but it was met by mine. "Not now." I ran my fingers through his hair. "I'm still tired." I laughed and nuzzled my nose into his hair. He raised his face level with mine and smirked at me.  
  
"Then go to sleep." He leaned against the crook of the trunk and I crawled up into his lap, draping my arms around his neck and taking one last deep breath before drifting off to sleep again.  
  
+++  
  
I know this was short, but it was for Meg, who said I was ruining the "Aww" moments. ^_^ So I shall ruin the "Aww" moment in the next chapter. For uninterrupted "Aww", go read her byootiful story, Pieces that fall into Place.  
  
Happy New Year, all. My resolution? Write more, talk less. Not that I talk much anyway. Beh. Maybe I can trick people into thinking I'm mute?  
  
Footnote: A Starfruit is, true to its name, shaped like a star, but, unlike the Paopu, elongated to resemble a very small football if viewed from the side. Its skin is smooth and waxy, colored a very vivid yellow-orange, and its insides are soft and sweet. The seeds are almost like that of an orange. It is a very strange fruit indeed, and found only in tropical areas, like Destiny Islands and most of southern Florida. I was fortunate enough to have one in my backyard for a few years. When I first saw the Paopus, I immediately thought "Starfruit!" So, naturally, I assumed they would be similar to the Starfruit in taste and texture. Hehe, we used to use them like footballs with my old dog until we moved. We didn't move very far, though. In-county. Never eat the green ones. They're all bitter and sour. But I used to eat them anyway. I was an odd child. And that, class, is your agriculture lesson for the day. 


	9. To me it's nothing but a dream

When I finally felt rested, I looked up at him to notice he was still awake. "Did you sleep at all?" I asked.  
  
"No." He stated simply.  
  
"But... Aren't you tired? I mean, you didn't really sleep last night either." I regarded him with a slightly befuddled look.  
  
"I don't need to sleep." He sounded a bit stern and I felt like I had offended him.  
  
"Sorry." I muttered apologetically.  
  
His expression softened and he looked almost sad as he tightened his hold on my shoulders. "Don't be. It's not your fault. Nothing is your fault, Sora." But it was all my fault... He kissed me gently and pulled away to stare into my eyes. "I just... I can't sleep. I-I don't... I don't want to hear him anymore."  
  
"Riku..." I placed a hand on his cheek, my eyes showing concern. He looked down away from me.  
  
"I can hear him, in my dreams. He's calling me. He wants me to come back. I don't want to go back." He looked back at me and seemed on the verge of tears. He closed his eyes and buried his face in my chest. "He can't have my heart, Sora. It belongs to you now."  
  
I stroked his hair, pulling him closer to me. "I won't let him take your heart. I won't let him hurt you, love. No matter what." But...  
  
"Sora," he heaved into my chest, "I'm... I'm afraid." This surprised me. Riku wasn't one to tell others his emotions, especially not ones of fear. I wondered briefly if he had ever told anyone he'd been afraid before. Love makes you say crazy things, I guess.  
  
"Don't be. You shouldn't have to be afraid." I kissed the top of his head, hoping my words would offer some comfort. "He can't touch you as long as I'm around."  
  
"I love you, Sora. I love the way you can make me feel better even when I know something bad is going to happen. Don't ever," His eyes met mine, passion burning behind them, "lose sight of your heart. It's what makes you perfect. As long as you know how to love, everything will be fine." I wasn't quite sure what he meant by this (I'm still not sure, and I've begun to lose my hope in it), but I decided it best not to question him and just hold him for a while.  
  
He didn't cry. I knew he wanted to, could see it in his eyes, but he refused to let himself. He was determined not to show weakness. I loved him, but he could be so stubborn at times. Eventually he released me, sighing deeply and looking out to the ocean. "I was hoping... Hoping he was dead. But now I know without a doubt he is alive." His head turned swiftly to me. "He wants me dead, Sora."  
  
"D-dead?" My eyes widened in shock and horror. "Why would he want you dead?" I placed my hands on his.  
  
"I don't know." He looked down. "I don't want to die. Not when we've finally come together." He kissed me quickly. "As long as we're together, I'll never die."  
  
Together... Never die... I'm sorry, it gets so hard sometimes.  
  
I brushed a lock of hair behind his ear. I smiled softly, sadly. I didn't know what to say. I felt so strange. He was telling me all his fears. He'd never done that before, and while I was happy that he trusted me so much, I was also frightened by all this new information. Now we both knew Ansem was coming, and we both knew his intention. God. My God. I didn't know what to do.  
  
"So what do we do now?" I asked.  
  
"Wait." His expression looked vacant. "Wait until he decides to take me." I shuddered. He noticed this and wrapped his arms around me. "Don't be afraid, Sora. Never be afraid."  
  
"I'm not." I lied. "I'll never let you go, Riku." I kissed him. That may have been our most passionate kiss. We were both afraid of what was to come, neither willing to show weakness. I could feel tears well up in my eyes, but I pushed them down, using my energy to push myself into Riku's mouth, to hold him to me with such great fervor that I might've broken all his bones.  
  
He seemed to be doing the same thing to me, his fingers tangling in my hair while his other hand moved under my shirt. I gasped as his hold tightened even more, then slid my tongue into his mouth. A silent battle for dominance was taking place. Neither of us knew, or even really cared, but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I had to win. If I didn't win this, then how could I ever expect to protect him?  
  
I succeeded in pushing him on his back, moving my lips from his and down his neck. My hand found the clasps on his shirt and I undid them with great eagerness. I breathed his name into his chest, letting my fingers glide across the newly uncovered flesh. His hands dug into my back and shoulders, but I didn't mind. I nipped and sucked at his chest, causing him to moan and gasp in ecstasy.  
  
I felt like I couldn't control myself. Part of me loved this loss of inhibitions, while part of me was scared of it. The former won, and I continued my trek down his body, grasping hurriedly at the buckle of his pants.  
  
"Sora..." He gasped, "Someone might see."  
  
I pulled myself level with his face, kissing him and thrusting my tongue into him. I pulled away a moment later, eyes veiled with lust. "I don't care." I continued to work his mouth with mine as my fingers worked his buckle open and slid his pants off of his hips. He jerked his mouth away from mine, pulling a sharp intake of breath as my hand found his member. He writhed under me, silently begging for more. I obliged, moving my hand up and down in time with his hips, he all the while making pleasant noises to let me know what I was doing right, what felt good.  
  
"Sora..." He said my name again; tightening his grip on my shoulder with one hand while the other grabbed at my hair. He tugged on it, but not enough to really hurt. I released his mouth, smiling down at him as he looked at me with half-lidded eyes. He was breathing heavily, his eyes saying things his voice couldn't at the moment.  
  
He heaved a few short breaths before closing his eyes and kissing me. I took his invitation and teasingly slowly pulled down the zipper of my shirt. It slid easily off my shoulders and met his on the ground beside the tree. I moved off him for a moment so as to remove my shorts. His eyes never left my body; his breath still coming in short gasps.  
  
I came back to him and straddled his chest. He took me in his mouth, licking and sucking with such intensity it was all I could do not to scream. When I was satisfied, I pulled out of his mouth and moved my hips down to his.  
  
I entered him slowly, careful not to hurt him. He let a strangled moan escape his lips and I paused for a moment. He looked up at me though, eyes imploring me to continue. I let out a small sigh of relief and resumed what I was doing, thrusting into him. He grabbed my hips, gasping and panting with each motion. I came, emitting a low moan as his grip tightened on me.  
  
"Ri-Riku!" I tilted my head back, breathing deeply, enjoying every sensation I was feeling. I didn't want to pull out, but that something in back of my head told me to, so I did, still sitting on his legs, my hand resting on his chest. I could feel his heart racing. His heart...  
  
I hesitated for a moment, just looking at his face. He was thoroughly flushed in his cheeks, sweat beading on his forehead and his upper lip. I leaned in to kiss it away, licking and sucking on his lower lip. His arms moved from my hips to wrap around my back again. He pulled me into him, holding me so tight it seemed he was afraid I would float away. I trailed one hand back down his body, grasping his erection once again. I moved my hand with a new intensity, and soon he came, spilling onto our stomachs.  
  
"S... So... Sora..." He gasped. Anyone else would've barely been able to tell that he'd said my name, but I could tell, and that was enough. I smiled at him, at the fact that he was mine, and mine alone. I grazed my fingers over his stomach, lifting them to his lips. He kissed them, then pulled them into his mouth, sucking and licking at them gently. I could tell his strength was drained, and I wrapped my arm around him.  
  
"I love you." I sighed into his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. He draped his arms around my waist, trying desperately to catch his breath.  
  
"I love you, too." He kissed my forehead softly. His breathing began to slow and I eventually noticed that he'd fallen asleep. I gathered this wasn't such a bad idea and looped my arms around his neck, kissing him softly before I too lost consciousness.  
  
+++  
  
YES! HOT MONKEY SEX! WOO! Jo is now a very dirty girl and must shower for... Ever.  
  
God, I'm sick. Literally. I always get sick in the winter. /Always/. It's just a runny nose, but that means I get to sneeze a lot. Oh how fun. You see, normally, for me anyway, sneezing really sucks. For some unknown reason my whole body feels the need to get involved, making me shudder violently. When I'm sick, it's sooo much worse. If I'm standing, I sneeze with such force that if I lost my balance I would body-slam the ground. Then my insides twitch. Yay. I feel like there are bits of tissue in my throat. So I'm taking off work tomorrow. More time to write. Though I wouldn't mind laughing at customers as I got snot all over their precious purchases. +cackles maniacally, then doubles over in a coughing fit+ Urrgh... Later. 


	10. Please understand

By some act of God, no one had noticed that we had fallen asleep sans clothing on the Paopu tree. Amazing; the sun had almost set too. That, and the fact that we had managed to keep our balance and not topple over into the sand as we slept left me in a state of wonderment.  
  
Maybe it was meant to be perfect.  
  
I raised myself off of him carefully, not wanting to disturb him but at the same time anxious to stare deep into those beautiful seagreen eyes. Once I moved, however, he stirred beneath me, somehow mentally noting my absence and wishing me not to go. His arm tightened around my waist and he spoke with his eyes still closed.  
  
"Don't go." His voice sounded sad, almost hopeless. I felt bad for a moment, but I hadn't intended on leaving him; I just wanted to put my clothes back on.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." I leaned back in to kiss his nose. He reflexively pressed his lips to mine, gently rubbing them together before pulling away again. He opened his eyes and looked at me expressionless. He sighed and brought one hand up into my hair, pulling my face close to his.  
  
"Don't ever leave my side, Sora." He looked like I was going to abandon him. I wondered what had brought this on, but decided it best not to question. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, putting one hand on either side of his face.  
  
"I never will." Never. I kissed him again, sliding my tongue along his lower lip before lifting my head again. "But right now, I'd like to put some clothes on."  
  
He smiled and waved dismissively with his hand. "Go. Go wear your clothes. I'd be happy to stay like this forever, but I suppose if you must..." I grinned at him and slid off the trunk of the Paopu. I found my pants and put them on before tossing Riku his own. He smiled and put them on, jumping rather gracefully off the trunk to stand in front of me. His fingers caressed my cheek as he pushed a few strands of hair behind my ear. "Better?"  
  
I smirked and nodded, leaning in to kiss him. When I pulled away, I had a lovely idea. "Riku..." I brought my hands up to my neck, wrapping my fingers around the cool metal chain. "Wear this." I lifted the crown necklace over my head and lowered it around his neck.  
  
He took a moment before he did anything. Finally, he looked down at it, lifting the crown in his hand to admire it, glinting softly in the moonlight. "Sora..." He smiled at me and I smiled back. He knew I never let /anyone/ wear my necklace. He'd asked me before when we were younger, and I'd flatly refused. He didn't ask anymore after that.  
  
He hugged me, leaning his head on my shoulder. I wrapped one arm around his back while the other stroked his hair. "For if we're ever separated. Know that I'll always be there." I leaned my head on his. "I love you."  
  
He kissed my neck a few times, hands tracing the outlines of my muscles on my back. "I'd die without you." I'm dead right now. I felt him lift his head to look at the sky. "It's dark. Your mom's gonna be pissed." He let go of me and smirked.  
  
"Well I guess I won't go home, then, will I?" I grinned broadly at him and he laughed.  
  
"So what shall we do?" He put his hands on his hips and regarded me with a slightly mischievous grin.  
  
"Oh, I don't know..." I teased, trailing a finger down his chest.  
  
"Oh, honestly, Sora. Surely you don't want sex /again/?" He laughed, suddenly grabbing me in a headlock. I laughed heartily as I struggled to get out of his hold, eventually resorting to poking him in the sides. "Ow!" He managed between breaths. "That's not fair!" He smiled as I rounded on him.  
  
"Who said anything about being fair?" I joked back. He smiled, running a hand up through his hair and letting it rest on the back of his neck. The pale moonlight reflected off the droplets of sweat on his bare chest, glistening with the twinkling of the stars as he breathed softly.  
  
God, he looked so sexy.  
  
But I digress.  
  
I walked up to him slowly and wrapped my arms around his waist. His eyes seemed to pull me in. I wondered if he felt the same when he looked into mine. He draped his arms over my shoulders, pulling us closer. A kiss wasn't necessary at the moment, and I leaned my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. Heat, sweat, salt, ocean, love. Yes, he smelled like love. It's hard to describe. You'll know it when you experience it.  
  
"So what /do/ you wanna do?" I asked again, sighing into him.  
  
"I dunno. I'm not tired at all." He trailed a hand up through my hair, pulling my face closer to him.  
  
"Me either." I slid my hands up his back. If I could just touch him one more time...  
  
He breathed deeply, and I rose and fell with the movement of his chest. I loved moments like these, where talk was unnecessary, and a warm embrace was the only physical contact we needed. It would be one of the last.  
  
The night air was getting a bit chilly, and even with his body so close, I could still feel its icy sting on my bare back. "Cold..." I mumbled into his shoulder. He released me and handed me my shirt and jacket. I smiled graciously and put them on. He pulled his own shirt over his head and plopped down in the sand, looking up at the stars.  
  
"So many worlds out there..." He said dreamily, noting the bright and numerous stars.  
  
"Still wondering why we're stuck on this one?" I sat next to him, also gazing up at the sparkling oblivion.  
  
"No. I don't care which one I'm on anymore, as long as you're there." His eyes focused on me, reflecting the twinkling of a million different worlds. One could drown in those eyes. They seemed as endless as space itself.  
  
I smiled at him and put my hand on his before turning back to the sky. It was relatively clear, but there were a few clouds out, shadowing the moon. They weren't white, wispy clouds, though, but dark, thick ones: rain clouds. I sighed and shook my head, turning to face him again. "You know, I think it's going to-"  
  
Almost as soon as I opened my mouth, a light sprinkle started, getting increasingly heavy. "Rain?" He finished for me, laughing. "Maybe we should seek shelter." He stood and offered his hand to me. I took it, and we ran to the secret place. We would've just stayed in the Seaside Shack, but the roof leaks horribly.  
  
True, rain did fall through the small hole at the top of the cave, but it wasn't much, and we huddled in the opposite corner. Riku wrapped a warm arm around me and looked across the cave at the opposite wall. "Hm." He scoffed. "That picture is still there."  
  
"Huh?" I looked to where his eyes were resting: the picture of Kairi and me. "Oh, that." I smiled at him. He rolled his eyes as if to say 'Yes, /that/.' "Heh, I always thought it kind of looked like you. Just more... Girly." I teased and poked him in the ribs.  
  
He laughed with me and removed his arm from my shoulder, grabbing a nearby rock. With it, he wrote on the wall next to us: Riku + Sora Forever. I laughed at him as he grinned back at me. "What?" He asked in amusement.  
  
"What are we, thirteen?" I hit him on the shoulder.  
  
"Almost. Jeez, Sora, you're not even sixteen yet. Stop acting like you're too old for that." He grinned even wider as he ruffled my hair playfully.  
  
"Nyah! I drew that picture with Kairi when we were nine." I smiled to myself. "To think, I thought I was in love at nine."  
  
"I knew I was in love." He smiled a small smile and looked into my eyes. "I always knew, Sora, that I'd be with you one day. Knew that Kairi was just a distraction. I've always loved you, even if I didn't know it. Even when my mind was clouded by thoughts that weren't mine." His eyes flickered. "I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you. I never meant any of it." His hand went to the side of my face, fingertips grazing my hair.  
  
"I know you didn't. I know you'd never harm me of your own volition." I smiled lightly and kissed him. "And maybe I've always loved you, too." I think I have. There was something so natural about us together. I noticed it even when I was young. We just... Fit. I knew I'd always be with him, even if it wasn't in a romantic way, I knew we'd at least be friends until the very end.  
  
The very end...  
  
He smiled a real smile and closed his eyes, leaning into me. After a few blissful seconds he trailed his tongue along my lower lip. I opened my mouth slightly and let his tongue meet mine. He slid onto my lap, straddling my hips as his hands moved around to my shoulders. My arms traveled down his back and pulled him closer to me.  
  
I didn't intend on going further than kissing, and neither did he. After a few moments, he broke the contact and smiled contentedly at me. I brushed a few strands of hair out of his face and leaned back against the wall. He lay on top of me, resting his head on my chest. The rhythmic sounds of the rain, our heartbeats, and his gentle breathing soon sent me drifting off to sleep.  
  
+++  
  
Wow, that was a long chapter, as this story goes. In the next chapter, I'm going to switch perspectives back to third person about halfway through (like I did in the first chapter). You'll have to wait and see why.  
  
I really like this chapter. So cute and sad at the same time. But what is love if not tinged with sadness? Love is the ability to feel all emotions with and through another individual. Anyway, the loveliness of this chapter is a feeble attempt to make up for my soon-to-be absence. My ISP shall be taking a vacation around the 16th (maybe before then, I dunno), so I shall be unreachable at that time. Stupid ISP. We only switched about 2 months ago and now we have to switch /again/. Everyone keeps going bankrupt. . Well, I'll miss you when the time comes, but hopefully I'll get at least one more chapter out before then. 


	11. I've got nothing left to give

"Wha-...?"  
  
I woke abruptly, holding a hand up to shield my face. The small cave had been filled suddenly with blinding white light. But where was it coming from? Could it be...  
  
The Door?  
  
Riku woke as well, rolling over to sit next to me. We squinted through the piercing brightness to see that the Door was, indeed, open.  
  
"He's here." Riku said in complete monotone. The light died down a bit and I looked over to him, his face expressionless. "He's come for me." My mouth worked a few times as my mind struggled, trying to figure out what to do. After a moment, I stood.  
  
"I won't let him take you." I advanced toward the open door, then turned back to him. "Stay here, I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
"No." He stood as well, eyes boring into mine, burning with determination. "I have to go. It's my issue, Sora. Let me deal with it."  
  
We locked eyes for a moment, and I eventually faltered. God, I wish I hadn't. "We'll go together." I held out my hand to him. He hesitated a moment, perhaps wondering if he should expose either himself or me to this danger, but grabbed my hand and we proceeded through the Doorway.  
  
Once inside, our surroundings, and our clothing, had changed dramatically. We were standing in a small alleyway, the buildings on either side as black as the night sky above. Rain cascaded down in sheets, the wind blowing to make and occasional wall of pure, rippling white. The rain did not bother us, however, as we were both now clad in black raincoats, though I did notice that Riku was wearing a blindfold.  
  
"Riku... Where are we?" I didn't know why, but I knew that he'd know what this place was.  
  
"It's not important. We just need to find him. Find him and destroy him." His voice sounded cold and almost hurt. I wondered silently what he might have endured here. That blindfold didn't seem to bother him, and he made no attempts to remove it. It was like he was used to it... I shook my head to clear those thoughts from it, and was soon greeted by a sickening, slimy sound.  
  
"Heartless!" I cried, holding my hand out. Oblivion materialized there, and a small smile twitched on the corners of my lips. That was the last Keyblade I had used before the worlds were restored. Riku unsheathed his blade that resembled the wing of a demon. I shuddered at that. It was the blade he'd used to fight me.  
  
We leapt at our attackers, I blindly hacking at what ever came too close, he fighting with cat-like grace, almost floating above the ground as he sliced the shadows in half. In less than a minute, it appeared over. The sky was lit up for an instant, as several glowing hearts traveled skyward. I let out a breath and turned to face him. "They've gotten bigger."  
  
He sheathed his blade and responded coolly, head tilted down. "No, they've always been that big here. Though I remember there being more." I eyed him curiously. So he /had/ been here before. Perhaps he wore the blindfold because he didn't want to see...  
  
"You'll never last with that weak sword." I smiled at him. "It's a 7 at best. Take this." I slid Oblivion into his hand. His fingers tightened around the handle and he faced me.  
  
"I can't take this." His lips made a sad line across his face. "You need it."  
  
"No, I've got more. You need to be well protected. This is the best I can do at the moment." I slid a hand under the hood of his raincoat and let it rest on his cheek. "Please. It will make me feel better."  
  
He smiled lightly and nodded, pressing a light kiss to my lips. "Alright, love. If it will put your mind at ease. I need you to be calm and not worry. They feed on negative emotions in this place. The last thing we need is for them to be drawn here by the millions." I smiled, though he couldn't see it (I had the strangest feeling that he could see with his senses now.) and we continued down the alley to a street.  
  
Absolute nothingness spread as far as the eye could see. The "city" we were in was eerily deserted. Streetlights cast a feeble glow in various areas, illuminating the puddles of rainwater. A few windows were lit, but no being moved behind them.  
  
Not a soul in this place.  
  
He started down the street, moving seemingly by instinct; perhaps that bond he had with the darkness was leading him to its source. I followed, but suddenly, he stopped.  
  
"What is it?" I questioned before seeing what had halted him.  
  
"No." He breathed, almost silently. A puddle of pure blackness had formed at his feet, the dark tendrils slowly working their way up his body. "No!" He screamed, trying to free himself, but it was like quicksand, and struggling only pulled him in further. "Sora!" He stretched out his hands to me. "Please, help me! I won't let him take me! I WON'T!"  
  
I reached for him desperately, grabbing both his hands in mine. "Riku..." I strained, pulling him with all my might. But it was no use. The darkness soon encased his whole body, wrenching his hands from mine. I clutched hopelessly at his body, but I could grab hold of nothing but shadows. "Riku!" I yelled, in a last-ditch effort, "I will find you! I promise you, love, I /will/ find you!"  
  
"And I'll be waiting." He called back before the black tentacles wrapped around his face. Soon I was looking at nothing but a black figure, a shadow, almost. A flash of purple light filled the street, then nothing.  
  
And he was gone.  
  
"Riku..." I fell to my knees, staring at the spot of pavement where he had disappeared. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn't; a single tear slid down my cheek to melt with the rain that splattered my face. I regained my composure and managed to pull myself up off the ground.  
  
As I turned, I was met by another horde of Heartless. I extended my hand, and this time, Divine Rose appeared there. It was one of my second strongest Keyblades, very effective, too. Its bright colors contrasted so starkly with the black and seemingly colorless world I was in. Then I thought back to when I received it. It had led the Beast to Belle.  
  
Perhaps it would lead me to my love.  
  
Filled with emotions I cannot even begin to describe, I walked toward my offenders and slashed them all in two quick motions. I shouldered the blade and continued in the direction Riku had been walking.  
  
"I /will/ find you."  
  
+  
  
Riku was thrown rather violently from the glowing purple and black portal. He landed, however, quite gracefully on his feet, hands clenched at his sides. "So it's come to this?" He sneered at the large building in front of him. Though he was still blinded, his senses told him exactly where he was:  
  
He stood in the middle of a large, empty street; a plaza of sorts, like Times Square. Numerous neon signs flickered in the rain, casting bizarre shadows on the skyscrapers they were fastened to. Ahead lay a rather strange structure. A building with television screens affixed to the top loomed down on him, an ominous structure indeed.  
  
His senses drew him to the building. /He/ was in there. Anger coursed through his veins. How dare he call him back after everything he'd put him through one year ago? How dare he rip him away from the one person he truly loved? The one who owned his heart?  
  
One cannot live with half a heart.  
  
As Riku advanced toward the building, his ears were met by the sound of Shadows rising from the ground. He turned his head to regard them, then kneeled, extending his hands to call his Keyblade to him. Oblivion materialized in one hand, while something else came to his other. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small star dangling from the end of this new Keyblade. 'Kairi's good luck charm?' He pondered for a split second, then remembered what Sora had named this blade:  
  
Oathkeeper  
  
The smallest of smiles touched his lips as he stood, locking the two blades together in front of him. He took his stance, then leapt at the surrounding Shadows, fighting with such intensity that half the time he was in the air while fighting. After he mowed down about half of them, he heard a laugh come from above. But... That voice... It was... His own.  
  
"Don't bother. You'll wear yourself out." The voice called down to him with a cocky air. It clicked inside his head that was, indeed, his own voice calling to him from atop the odd building. Then it clicked as to whom the owner was.  
  
"You. It's you, isn't it, Ansem?" He said bitterly.  
  
"Of course it's me. Who else would it be?" Riku's mirror stood, perched on the edge of the building, looking down at him. Well, not really "looking", per say, because his eyes were also covered with a black blindfold. His hood was down, and the rain caused his hair to stick to his face and neck, though some was blown about by the wind.  
  
"What do you want from me, you son of a bitch?" Riku spat at the calm figure.  
  
"My other half." He responded coolly. Riku started. His other half? Surely not his... Not his heart?  
  
"You can't have my heart." He said through gritted teeth. "It belongs to someone else now."  
  
"You mean the girl? The one whom I helped you find? You still owe me for that." The screens lit up to show Kairi, innocent and sweet, laughing. The figure regarded Riku with a smug look.  
  
"No. It does not belong to her. You nearly killed her! Sora saved her, not you. I OWE YOU NOTHING!"  
  
"YOU OWE ME EVERYTHING!" The Mirror Riku yelled to his counterpart. "You ungrateful bastard. I took you in, I cared for you. I helped you find your friends, and this is how you repay me?!"  
  
"You lied to me! You deceived me! You made me believe that my friends betrayed me!" Riku nearly screamed. The old hatred he held for the man was returning full force. Oh, how he wanted to crush his very bones... "Where's Sora?" His face became passive once more. He didn't expect an answer.  
  
"Hm." The other scoffed. "Is that what I mean to you? You mean so much more to me, Riku." The man tilted his head back, bringing up one hand to undo the knot in his blindfold. It slid off his face, and the rain cascaded over his still-closed eyes. He leaned forward again and smiled, opening his eyes to reveal hollow, yellow embers. "Because I /am/ you. And you, my child...  
  
"You are the source of all Heartless."  
  
Riku backed up in pure terror as a wall of blue flame surrounded him. His hands reflexively tightened on the handles of his Keyblades as he turned his face upward. "W-What..." He stammered out, "what d-do you want from me?" He asked a second time.  
  
The man scoffed, pulling the hood of his raincoat up, almost hiding the penetrating evil of his eyes. He smirked and jumped off the roof of the building, but instead of falling, he floated down, arms outstretched, looking very much like some sort of fallen angel. He landed mere feet away from Riku with a soft tap.  
  
"To finish what I started."  
  
+++  
  
I debated for a while whether I should split this into two parts or not. I decided I probably should. I was getting tired of writing and I like leaving you guys with cliffhangers anyway. ^^  
  
So, oh! Suspense! What did Ansem start? Where did Sora go? Will he find his love? Will my nose ever stop running?  
  
About Divine Rose: I couldn't remember exactly what Belle said. I /think/ she said it helped the Beast find her. If she did say that, then Yay! I have a decent memory! If she didn't, uh, pretend she did. Yup. ^^;; 


	12. All I've got

"You can't have my heart!" Riku backed up, half in anger, half in fear.  
  
"And why is that?" The figure crossed his arms, and evil smirk playing on his face.  
  
"Because it's not mine to give." He said almost quietly. Through all his strength, he could feel tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "It's his, dammit! And he'd never let you take it." Riku gritted his teeth, scowling at his mirror image.  
  
"His, hm? You mean, the other Keyblade Master? Ha, I never thought you were into that sort of thing, but, then again, you two were destined from the start." Riku stopped. "Two to become one. But you will never be one. Never. Because half of your heart is shrouded in darkness. Half of your heart belongs to ME!" The twisted Mirror reached out his hand, enveloping Riku in green fog. The boy fell to his knees, clutching his chest.  
  
"No, no. This can't be true! I can't... He can't..." Riku panted, his body heaving with each labored breath. The thought of Ansem owning half his heart was too much. "No... NO! I WON'T BELIEVE IT!" He gathered all of his strength to stand, lunging at his twin with Keyblades at the ready.  
  
Mirror Riku gracefully sidestepped the attack, causing Riku to overcompensate and fall face-first onto the pavement. He growled and pulled himself up again, attempting to strike his counterpart in the back. His stroke, however, was caught by a powerful hand. "You will STOP THIS! NOW!" The man scowled. "There is no way you could defeat me. My death would kill us both. Yours, however..." His lips curled into an evil smile; "Your death will make me whole."  
  
"W-what? Why?" The boy stopped his attacks to listen again in fear.  
  
The Mirror laughed loudly at the boy's foolishness. "Didn't you wonder why I didn't die before? I /own/ you. I /am/ you. You're still nothing but a puppet. You always will be. I am your twin, your other half, though I am the more powerful half. My death would drain you of your strength, your power. It would kill the more powerful half of your heart. /Your/ death would complete me. I lived through you for a while, until I was finally strong enough to regain a physical presence. I think your body suits me, does it not?" His grin widened while Riku's hold on his Keyblades tightened. "If you were to die, the weaker half of our heart would be free to return to its mate. I would be whole again, and thus unstoppable."  
  
"So... You can't die as long as I'm alive?" A chill went down his spine.  
  
"No. As long as we both live, I can never die."  
  
"But... If you were completed..." Realization and sadness crept into his mind. If he were completed... But then I would have to... "If you were 'killed' again, how long would you be gone? Another year?"  
  
"Would it matter? You would die. The thing that was 'killed' the first time was /my/ heart. Killing the heart I have now would be killing yours. It would be... Suicide." The Mirror smirked, his words laced with poison.  
  
"So be it." Riku whispered, lunging at the man again.  
  
This time he caught him unexpectedly, knocking him hard in the chest. While the man took a moment to catch his breath, Riku fought him unmercifully. Smacking him in the arms and torso, causing gashes and cuts along his mirror's body as he fought, Riku executed his revenge. After what seemed like an eternity of lashing out at his Mirror, Riku's hand was stopped.  
  
"You forget..." The man smirked, the yellow orbs glowing in his head; "My death means the end of us both." With that, The Mirror ripped Oathkeeper from Riku's shocked hands, plunging it into his stomach.  
  
Riku fell to his knees, sputtering and coughing up blood.  
  
+  
  
I searched for such a long time, I didn't know if I'd ever find him. It was scary, to think that our last encounter would be shrouded in darkness, filled with shouts for help.  
  
Though in reality it wouldn't be much different.  
  
At first, wave after wave of giant Shadows attacked me. Riku hadn't lied when he said they were attracted to negative emotions. I had been feeling fear and sadness, and even anger at myself for not being able to save him. Why couldn't I grab his hand? Perhaps I wasn't meant to? I wish it didn't have to be this way.  
  
I calmed down after a while and filled my head with thoughts of determination. The amount of Shadows diminished until they were eventually gone. I thanked God for that; all the fighting had been draining me. Luckily, a few Shadows left behind potions and I used one on myself, letting the green mist heal all of my physical wounds, but none of the mental. Even though I was slightly afraid, I pressed ever onward. I /had/ to find him.  
  
Divine Rose led me there. The city seemed like a vast, endless maze, but whenever I felt lost, the Keyblade seemed to pull me in the right direction. I was grateful for its help. Without it I probably would have been lost for days. Then I might not have seen him alive again.  
  
After about an hour, or maybe longer, I couldn't tell, I arrived at a plaza. The rain seemed to fall harder here; the neon light cast a disorienting glow about the street. I squinted my eyes against the mixture of dark and bright, trying to figure out what this place was, when I saw two silhouetted figures before me, surrounded by a wall of blue flame. "Riku?" I whispered.  
  
I ran up to them, the flames disappearing upon my arrival. I was greeted by a most horrific sight. Riku was standing, holding Oathkeeper in his gloved hand. The blade was tipped with blood being slowly washed off by the rain. He didn't even turn to regard me. "It is over, Sora." He said in a cold, monotone voice.  
  
"What?" I looked at him. He was no longer wearing his blindfold, but his eyes were hidden beneath his hood. A smirk crossed his face as I felt something reach out and grab my leg.  
  
I looked down to see another Riku, kneeling at my side. He was still wearing the black blindfold, but his face showed fear and sadness. "Sora..." He said painfully, and I noticed the gash in his stomach. Something was very, very wrong here.  
  
I backed away in fear. "What the hell is going on?" I questioned, looking back and forth between them. "One of you can't be real." The standing Riku smirked while the kneeling Riku clutched his stomach, his mouth working but no words coming out. I looked to the blade the standing one was holding. Oathkeeper. Hadn't I given Riku Oblivion? But that meant... "Oh, no."  
  
At that moment, the Riku whom had been kneeling fell backward to the pavement. I ran and caught him seconds before his head hit the ground. The slickness of his coat made it difficult for me to pull him into my lap, and I had to hold his head with one hand while the other reached over his body to clutch his waist. Again, his mouth moved but no sound came out. "Riku..." I began, fingers tightening their hold on the wet material.  
  
"S-Sora..." He wheezed out, his face turning to mine. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, and I was reminded briefly of three days ago when I had been in a similar situation. In four blissful days this had started and was over. I felt tears forming in my eyes as I looked down at his pale face. The hand that had been cradling his head reached under the hood of his coat to remove the obstructing blindfold. It fell unceremoniously to the floor, revealing his closed eyes. Rain and tears mingled on his cheeks, willing him to keep his eyes closed, but my penetrating gaze forced them open. The normally tranquil ocean-colored eyes showed an internal storm brewing. It almost looked like it hurt him to see me. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to hurt, love... I pulled a potion out of my pocket, but as I uncorked it, his hand met mine. "Don't, Sora... Please don't."  
  
"I said that I'd protect you, Riku. At least let me try...!" I was becoming frantic. Why wouldn't he want me to save him? Why would he want to die...? My tears became sobs as I held him desperately to me. My eyes traveled down his body to the deadly wound; its true depth was now revealed as the rain washed the blood away. I closed my eyes, unable to accept this reality. I couldn't lose him. I shuddered as I felt his cold hand touch my cheek, turning my face back to his.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sora. It's the only way..." But it /can't/ be the only way! It fucking /CAN'T/ BE! My eyes begged him for an explanation. How could he expect me to just let him die? "If I die, then Ansem... He can be stopped. If I'm alive... He-he'll kill us all. Sora..." He closed his eyes and turned away from me. "Let me go. It has to be this way. I'm so sorry. Just let me go."  
  
"No... No, no, no." I choked out tearfully as I pulled his face level with mine. "I can't let you go. I love you, Riku. I love you! How could I ever...?" He stopped me with a kiss. I moaned into his lips, still tightening my grip on him. I kissed him frantically, wishing it never had to end. But he pulled away.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sora. I love you, I really do. Please, let me go." His eyes softened. "You have so much living left to do. I-It's too late for me." I felt his hand stroke my hair as he gave me one last, sad smile. His fingers moved down my neck and shoulder, eventually resting on his stomach. His eyes slid closed and the smile left his lips. And his body went limp.  
  
"Riku...?"  
  
I shook him lightly. The rain bounced off his pale face, weighing down his soaking hair. An ephemeral halo shone around his head. A trick of the light. I knew his heart had now been claimed by darkness. "Riku, no. Oh, please, no. God, Riku... I love you. I love you...!" I buried my face in his hair, sobbing quietly. I couldn't lose him so soon. How could this be real?  
  
A sharp laugh pulled me from my reverie; a cold, mirthless laugh. It was Riku's, but a sick, twisted version of it. This wasn't the warm, gentle laugh I'd grown up with. No, this was pure evil. I lowered Riku's lifeless body gently to the ground, then stood and faced to soulless Mirror of my Love.  
  
"You..." The sadness in my heart was quickly replaced by anger and hatred. "You did this, didn't you?" The sneer on his lips caused rage to burn in my heart. He would pay. He would pay with his life.  
  
+++  
  
^^;; Eh heh, sorry this took so long to get out! Lack of... Time/interest and such. Yep. I was going to make this the last chapter, but there's still so much left to do! Damn, I never really intended for this fic to be so long... Well, shit happens. I still quite like it, though. Poor Riku. All dead an' stuff. Took a while for me to figure out a scenario in which he /had/ to die. I could figure out plenty in which Ansem just kills him, but then I'd come to Sora finding him and "Oh, potions! Duh! Sora could just save him!" But he HAS to die! It's the way I planned! Urgh. So, if it makes no sense as to why he has to die, tough cookies. I really racked my brain for that.  
  
In other news, I got one of my still-lifes into an art show. Didn't place, but I got free tickets to the fair. XD I ate a deep-fried Snickers bar with powdered sugar on top. I'm such a fucking pig. That has to be the most fattening thing ever invented. 


	13. Is me

No. It /couldn't/ end this way. No. No no no. My grip tightened on my keyblade, but I quickly flung it to the ground. I knelt down next to my Riku's body, my eyes never leaving the hollow gaze of his killer. My fingers slid around the cold handle of Oblivion. I winced, the thought of his warmth leaving so quickly chipping away little pieces of my heart. I tried not to show this weakness, though, and stood, pointing the tip of the blade at our offender's heart.  
  
"You killed him." I almost whispered. The rage in my heart threatened to boil over and explode; it was all I could do to keep it at this steady trickle for now.  
  
To my surprise (or maybe I should have expected it), he laughed, showing me a haughty smirk. Riku's smirk. Again I fought down rage. "No I didn't." His smirk widened. "You let him die."  
  
My eyes widened. The words were like an arrow, piercing my soul. I visibly recoiled, but straightened again at his hollow laughter. "No, I didn't. He told me t-"  
  
"You're a liar. He loved you and you let him fade. Oh, unrequited love. Such a tragic thing." He grinned now, and I released a growling scream.  
  
"I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! I WOULD NEVER HURT HIM!"  
  
"Tsk, tsk. You say that, yet there he lies. Feel him. His skin is already cold." He strolled up to me importantly, sliding a gloved hand over my cheek. "But don't worry. You can have me if you want."  
  
I pushed the mirror away roughly. The mere thought of... of... /that/ made me sick. "Get the fuck away from me." I held Oblivion up for defense.  
  
"Oh, Sora, Sora, Sora. What am I going to do with you? Mourning over a man you never loved, when we could rule the universe together. The Darkness is more powerful than you realize, especially with my heart now completed." He smirked again. "That troublesome boy was well worth it. He gave me his heart and his body... In more ways than one."  
  
He did /not/ just fucking say that. How could he...? To Riku...? He was only fifteen. He was only a child! "YOU SICK BASTARD!" I swung at him with my blade, hoping to strike anything. I wanted to hurt him any way I could.  
  
He deflected my stroke easily, leaning over the crossed Keyblades to smile grimly. "Come, boy. We could be so powerful together. Don't I look just like him? Isn't my voice the same? Touch me, for my skin is just as soft as his is. Join me. I could even be the submissive one if you so desire." He grinned wickedly as something flashed in those empty yellow eyes. His eyes.  
  
"You don't have his eyes. You have the eyes of a heartless. I know you're not him. You never could be. You killed him, and you will pay." I withdrew my keyblade from its position locked against his and promptly struck him in the head.  
  
"FUCK!" He screamed, clutching the side of his face. "You insolent little fool! I can destroy you just as easily as I did him!" He lunged at me but I moved to the side, striking him in the back. Another pained scream and he turned to face me. "How can you do this? It will be like killing him all over again."  
  
"STOP TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME!" I growled at him, holding my blade out in front. Another evil smirk crossed his face, though blood began to trickle from his lips.  
  
"But it worked /so well/ on your little friend." My rage threatened to take over but I held it down. I couldn't let rage control me. Riku had let jealousy control him and it killed him. I wouldn't be like that. A tear slid down my cheek as I stood facing him. I'd let him make the next move.  
  
But he didn't. He merely stood there, watching me. I could almost feel his eyes see straight through me. It felt like he could see into my heart. "You worthless thing. You think too often with your head. Let your heart take over. Let it control you. Submit to the pain, the anger, the rage, which reside deep within you." He scoffed. "You think he can come back, don't you?"  
  
I fought internally for control. He couldn't come back. I knew it, knew that he was gone. But the mirror had planted seeds of doubt within me. Hatred festered in the wounds of my heart, threatening to overtake me completely. "Shut up."  
  
"Why should I? You doubt yourself. One must never doubt oneself. It causes horrible mistakes to be made. You might kill me. We can't have that; no. I am still Riku, no matter what you may think. You can feel it in your heart, can't you? You know he's still in here. You know that I have his heart."  
  
"Shut up!" I said again, with a bit of defensiveness in my tone. He was lying! He had to be! Riku was dead. Riku couldn't still be in that, that monster! "You lie! I'm going to kill you!" I lunged at him again, the rage finally taking its hold.  
  
He fought expertly, deflecting my attacks with little or no effort. My head was swimming. How could he be stronger than I could? "That's it, child! Let your anger control you! Submit! Submit to the darkness within you!"  
  
And I stopped. Confusion crossed his features before being covered once again by the haughty stoic mask. "No. I have no darkness. I banished it for him." I struck him in the head once again, and he fell to the ground.  
  
I stood over him, fear showing in his eyes as I held Oblivion over his heart. "Sora..." he choked out, and I looked into those yellow eyes, my own devoid of emotion. "Sora, how could you?"  
  
And for a split second I doubted myself. He sounded so much like Riku. So much. My eyes softened and my grip loosened. I couldn't do it; it would be like losing him all over again. He was Riku. He was... No! It wasn't him! "YOU CAN'T FOOL ME ANYMORE!"  
  
I plunged the blade into his chest and he let out an agonized scream. I withdrew the blade, watching his chest heave as the blood spilled from it. Those large yellow eyes showed so much emotion, and I almost detected betrayal. Almost.  
  
A beautiful, glowing fuchsia heart began to rise from him. I could feel the strength pouring from it. I reached out, sliding my fingers over its crystalline surface. Comforting warmth surrounded my body. It was Riku's heart. I let my hand fall to my side as it drifted further upward, leaving a trail of gold behind it. Tears fell from my eyes, spattering on the now vacant ground. The fake Riku had disappeared as I watched my love float away. I looked down, putting a hand on my forehead as I tried to gather my thoughts and feelings. I was all-out sobbing now, barely noticing the stopping rain. A deep sigh escaped me as I tilted my head back, waiting for God only knows what.  
  
I turned around to see another heart-shattering image. Riku still lay on the cold pavement, the last few drops of rain bouncing off his pale skin and dark coat. He was almost white now; he had lost so much blood. I ran to his side, lifting his stiffening body in my arms. Rigor mortis had begun to set in. The thought made me shudder involuntarily. I shifted his weight in my arms to make him easier to carry. But where was I going? I was so horribly, hopelessly lost at this point. My emotions were drained and my mind was on the verge of cracking. I stared out at the labyrinth of dark streets. Sighing again, I started in the direction I had come. I prayed to God I wasn't trapped there forever.  
  
Suddenly, heat washed over my body, a strong contrast to the near-freezing atmosphere I had been in. I felt rooted to the spot, but instead of feeling afraid, I felt I calmed. I looked at my feet and saw not darkness, but light traveling further upward to cover me completely. The brightness eventually became blinding and I felt like I was being pulled gently to an unknown destination. Finally, the light subsided and I opened my eyes.  
  
I was in the Secret Place. Both Riku's and my clothes had changed back to what we had been wearing before we were sucked into the abyss. I still held him in my arms, and for a moment, hope flittered through my mind, only to have its delicate wings ripped off when I realized that Riku was still dead.  
  
I exited cautiously; hoping no one would notice my presence. I didn't want them to see. And I didn't want to talk to any of them. It was nearly dawn, and no one was out yet. I carried Riku's body to my boat, laying him down gingerly before climbing in myself. I rowed back to the main island, my heart feeling like a heavy stone in my chest. I'd have to tell his parents. I'd have to tell everyone. I didn't want to. I didn't want to speak to anyone ever again.  
  
+  
  
It was hell.  
  
I nearly collapsed when Riku's parents answered the door, greeted by their dead son's body. Somehow I managed to keep my face stoic and emotionless. I couldn't cry anymore. I felt obligated to be strong, though I don't know why. He was always the strong one.  
  
I had failed.  
  
He had a respectable funeral. The whole island came, so heartbroken to lose one of its children. I didn't recognize some of the people there. I guess they knew him. Or maybe they just felt they should come. I didn't care. His parents, Kairi, and I sprinkled handfuls of dirt on the coffin. God, I hate that word. So final an absolute. The priest went on for about half an hour about lost innocence. The viewing was the hardest part for me. I sat in the back. I'd seen him dead. I didn't need to look again.  
  
My heart was broken.  
  
I stayed on the hill in the small graveyard long after everyone else had gone. I didn't really know if anyone but Kairi knew what I felt for him. I didn't really care either. I sat up there, twirling a rose between my fingers, reading the inscription over and over: 'Riku Motosuwa - 1987 - 2003 - Beloved Friend and Son'. A heart was carved into the small granite edifice. 'So cliché,' I thought, tracing my fingers over the textured area. After a few hours, I finally laid the rose across the head stone. It looked so different from all the other flowers; the reds, blues, and violets. My rose was pure white. White like his hair. Like my light. The sun shined down on me as I left, almost mocking me.  
  
And I did not cry.  
  
I had a nasty habit from then on of not talking. I didn't want to. I still don't want to. There isn't much point, really. I feel like, when he died, everything went with him: my hopes, my dreams, my future. I fell. I'm still falling. And I fall deeper every day. Sometimes I hear voices, telling me to wake up, to get out of this before it's too late. But, the thing is... I don't /want/ to. I can't honestly say why. I've never dealt with loss very well. Never. My dad died when I was ten. I didn't talk for a while after that. Riku pulled me out that time. But now he's not here. I feel dead inside too.  
  
It hurts too much.  
  
If you wanted to, I guess you could call this a suicide note. Pretty long, and strange, but I suppose that's what it is. If you really want a reason, you've read it. I'll try not to get blood on the pages. Maybe I'll just lay it on the sink? That should work. I doubt anyone will find me in time. Slit my wrists, loss of blood. Reminds me of a song, 'I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war, if you can tell me something worth fighting for. And I'm gonna buy this place is what I said. Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head.' I sound crazy now, don't I? I suppose I am. I lost all sanity in that final thrust into Ansem's chest. When I thought I'd killed Riku. Maybe I /did/ kill him. I don't know. I don't know if I care. But I miss him. I miss him so much.  
  
So much.  
  
+++  
  
FINALLY! Ah, done. There will be an epilogue, though. Yep.  
  
Sorry for taking sooo long. I've been busy, plus I'm grounded from the computer. Yeah. And it would have been up a couple days ago, but ff.net won't let me log iiiin... I had my first therapy session yesterday! So I guess that makes it official, doesn't it? That I'm crazy. Oh joy.  
  
And Riku's not coming back. Nope. He be dead. Very dead. Deader than a doornail. The epilogue will be angsty as fuck, but I don't wanna say what's going to happen. I think this is the longest chapter. Four pages. Did you know this is my most popular fic? It has the most reviews of any of my other stories. Thank you all for your patience and encouragement! Hugs for all!  
  
Oh, and thanks to aurora-kayd, who is currently keeping my mailbox full of happy reviews! Whee!  
  
What happens to a dream deferred?  
  
Does it dry up  
  
like a raisin in the sun  
  
Or fester like a sore-  
  
And then run?  
  
Does it stink like rotten meat?  
  
Or crust and sugar over-  
  
Like a syrupy sweet?  
  
Maybe it just sags  
  
like a heavy load.  
  
//  
  
Or does it explode? 


	14. Partie une d'epilogue

"And it was over."  
  
/  
  
What would I do, lonely as you? Pleasure or pain, I can't choose. What would I do, lonely as you? Pleasure or pain, I can't choose. Wake up, you're dreaming. I can't stand your screaming; drowning out these prayers, just some words without meaning. Spare all the preaching. My secrets' worth keeping. No one understands like I do. Keep out of reach; I'm your leading deletion. Hide behind these masks, though they still see right through them. Every now and then, you're down and out my friend. Down and out again, but I'm down with you.  
  
One more time for the last time, one more time for release. One more time for the last time; everyone wants to believe.  
  
Blame it on you; thought these years I've been losing. Blame it on the past, it's the last place I knew you. Blame all the children, their raging and ruin. Blame it on the black and the blue. Every now and then, you're down and out my friend. Down and out again, but I'm down with you.  
  
One more time for the last time, one more time for release. One more time for the last time; everyone wants to believe.  
  
Every now and then, you're down and out my friend. Down and out again, but I'm down with you.  
  
One more time for the last time, one more time for release. One more time for the last time; everyone wants to believe.  
  
One more time for the last time, one more time for release. One more time for the very last time; everyone wants to believe, all right!  
  
/  
  
Sora laid the multi-page novelization of the past few days on the counter in his bathroom. A hand ran up through his hair as he read the last few lines over, before picking up the pen again to sign it. When he was finished, he relinquished the pen and replaced it with a knife.  
  
The bath water was still running hot when he twisted the faucet to the 'off' position. Fingers slid through the warm water, causing the smallest of ripples in the clear liquid. He sighed, stripping off his clothing unceremoniously before sliding into the bathtub. 'This is it. This is it. This is it,' kept running through his mind over and over again. His eyes flicked to the doorknob. Locked. His mother was at work. No one would pay it much mind if he didn't go outside. He hadn't been out for days at a time before and everyone was used to it by now.  
  
Though they wished he wouldn't, but they were used to it.  
  
An open bottle of pills lay on the counter next to his note. Anti- depressants. When he first became withdrawn, his parents became worried and took him to a therapist, who told them to take him to a psychiatrist, who prescribed anti-depressants. He laughed. What a joke it had all been. He refused to talk to the doctors, to open up to them. He merely answered their questions in the simplest way he could. More than once he'd answered with an angry "bite me" or "fuck off." The assessment was depression and acute borderline personality. He had a lot of rage and guilt in him, so they gave him pills.  
  
"Pills."  
  
Like that would help. It wasn't a chemical imbalance or some other stupid scientific problem causing him to feel this way. It was himself. He caused his own problems. He was his own master. And now he was going to end it all.  
  
Moments before, he swallowed all of the cursed pills, hoping that if a loss of blood didn't kill him, poisoning would. In the back of his mind, he wished for a gun. But how much fun would it be if it only took a second? So maybe he was a bit of a masochist. So what? He'd fucked himself up pretty good, so there was bound to be a lot of stuff wrong with him. Hm. Enough stalling. Let's get this over with.  
  
Sora sat up in the tub; his knees pulled up to his chest. The knife was held carelessly in one hand while the other he held out in front of him, examining it. The blue and purple veins coursed beneath his flesh. In his mind he could already see them torn open, little scarlet ribbons running down his tan skin. His gaze shifted to the knife. The silver glinted in the morning light that streamed in through the small window. It hypnotized him. He gently ran a finger over the edge, wincing as the sharpened blade sliced through the skin. He caught the reflection of his eyes in the red-stained metal. Lost and hollow. Inside, he felt something snap. He really had lost all hope, hadn't he? And for the first time in a long while, he lost all his reservations.  
  
And he cried.  
  
"I'm so pathetic." He sobbed, burying his face in his knees. "What would Riku say if he saw me like this? He'd tell me to stop. He'd tell me to be strong." The logical side of his brain argued, but it was overthrown by his madness. "But I can't be strong! I can't be anything without him..." He threw his head back, releasing one last, anguished, strangled cry before he looked back down to his wrists.  
  
"No more keeping my feet on the ground."  
  
The edge of the knife was cool against his heated skin, though he was already drenched in cold perspiration. Sora clenched his eyes shut, dragging the blade through his skin, ripping veins, tearing tendons. And it felt so good. He was being released, released from his self-created hell that he had lived in for nearly a year. No one knew that he and Riku had been lovers. No one knew really what happened that day. "The darkness took him." That was all he said. And it was true, if not very descriptive.  
  
He cried, in spite of the weight that seemed to be lifting off his shoulders. Maybe it was because, deep down, he knew this was the wrong way to go. But in his mind, Sora was beyond redemption. He was beyond hope, caring, and feeling for anything at all. Except for Riku.  
  
The cut bled into the warm water, red filling the tub and surrounding him. After the shock of the first step subsided, he moved the knife into his injured hand, letting it slide through the untouched flesh of his other wrist. So, that was it. Now all he had to do was lie back and wait; wait for the darkness to take him as well.  
  
He had surrendered.  
  
And like a fool,  
  
He loved it.  
  
Sora's eyes shot open. He tried to gasp for air, but there was none. He found himself in a bottomless lake of red water. The red. The red was... Blood. His blood. He glanced at his wrists in his panicked fury to find the surface. The cuts were still there. He was running out of air, but no way was up. That's the fun of being trapped underwater. There is no 'up'. You can only hope to find light. But Sora saw none.  
  
After several moments of panicked searching, Sora realized that he was almost out of air. 'Oh shit.' He thought, but then realized his intention had been to kill himself in the first place. So he exhaled what little air was left and took a deep breath of the surrounding red-stained water. And nothing happened. He was still alive. Well, no, he wasn't alive. He /couldn't/ be alive if he could breathe under water. Consciousness and unconsciousness blurred together and he forced himself to pick a direction and swim. Even if it wasn't to the surface, at least he'd be heading /somewhere/.  
  
Finally, he found the surface of the endless expanse of water. The surface didn't seem much different than being beneath the waves. Waves. He was in the ocean. Salty air overtook him; that all-too-familiar smell of the beach, though no land was in sight. He did a 360 and saw nothing but sky and clouds all around. And the water was red for as far as his eyes could see.  
  
'I'm dead. Really dead.' He thought. 'So... No angels? No wings or halos? Not even a hell? There's nothing here. Just... Empty.' Sora assessed his surroundings with confusion and a sudden loneliness. 'Does everyone go here?' "Or only suicides?" He said aloud. Even his voice sounded empty. So flat and lifeless...  
  
"Hello?" He shouted, hoping in vain to reach the ears of anyone or anything. "Is anyone here? Hello?" But only silence answered. He suddenly noticed a vacuum of sound. Even the gentle lapping of the waves was silent. Worry seeped into his mind and he shuddered involuntarily. 'So I guess I'll do what I did before.'  
  
"Pick a direction and swim."  
  
And swim he did. He swam for what seemed like hours, never once feeling the least bit winded or tired.  
  
"This is fucking hopeless." He muttered, finally stopping. "What the hell is this place, anyway?" He asked no one. He resigned, shifting to lie on his back. 'Guess I'll just float forever.' He thought, staring up to the blinding light concealed by clouds. His eyes then picked up something floating slowly downward. His interest piqued, he lifted himself up again, watching the little something descend to land beside him. He picked it up, studying it carefully.  
  
A feather.  
  
Well.  
  
"What the hell is this?" He sighed. "Well, a feather means birds, right? And birds mean land. But I don-" Sora didn't get to finish his sentence, for he was suddenly overcome with an immense pain in his shoulders. He drew his hands in fists to his chest, doubling over at the shock waves coming from his back. It felt like his skin was ripping itself open, and his very bones were trying to remove themselves from his body. Then, as suddenly as it had come, the pain stopped. Sora released the breath he had been hold, panting and clutching his neck. "What the hell was that? I feel-- different."  
  
Sora soon noticed what was different. He felt that he could control a new set of muscles. This new appendage came from his back. He flexed one and turned his head to the side to catch a glimpse of whatever it was that was now attached to his shoulders.  
  
Wings. But not white like the feather he had caught. His wings were black. Cautiously, he stretched out a hand to touch one, sliding his fingers along the velvety surface. "Wh-How?" He questioned, startled at their appearance. "Why black?" He became pensive, looking down at the water, brows drawn together in confusion and dawning fear.  
  
Then, a thought dawned on him. "Hey, wings mean I can fly, right?" He said a bit cheerfully. "So, uh, how do these things work, anyway?" He flexed the new muscles, trying to gain a certain understanding of them. After a few attempts to extend and contract, he got more confident, drawing them in and out faster, much like a bird would do.  
  
All of a sudden he had lifted himself completely out of the water, his toes barely skimming the surface. He smiled and nearly laughed out loud from the exhilaration of the new feeling. Up, down, sideways, frontward, backwards, any way he could go he did, savoring every new feeling. He flew higher and higher, until he reached the clouds, until he could touch the clouds-  
  
"Hey, wait a minute. The clouds feel strangely - solid."  
  
And they were. He flew up until he was level with one and tried standing on it. It felt like a very soft pillow beneath his bare feet. He smiled, bouncing on his heels for a few moments, before surveying the area before him.  
  
"Wha-?"  
  
Ahead of him, scores of angels stood, talking, walking, and carrying on as if the clouds were a giant meeting point. The thing that startled him the most, though, was that every single angel -/every single one/- had pure white wings. Not to mention that they were also clothed. Even if they were just wearing a thin band of translucent cloth, at least they weren't stark naked. Sora felt his cheeks redden as a few angels looked toward him, muttered something to each other, and looked away.  
  
Feeling embarrassed and completely out of place, Sora did his best to look dignified as he pressed on through the crowd, which seemed to part before him. He didn't quite know where he was going, and he didn't feel much obliged to ask around, so he just continued, keeping his chin up and his wings close.  
  
As he walked, a girl, not much older than he, stepped out before him. Her long, dark hair seemed to glow with the pale greenish-tinted band of cloth that covered her chest and waist, her forest green eyes glinting in the unseen sun. "How long have you been here, child?" She asked, causing Sora to stop.  
  
"I-I'm not sure. About an hour or two, I suppose." He answered uncertainly, caught up in her appearance and the fact that he was speaking to an angel, no, a Saint.  
  
"You poor, poor boy." She said softly, extending a hand to stroke his face. He shuddered slightly at the gentle caress of her fingertips before she spoke again. "Do you know where you are?"  
  
"I don't really know." He said, looking down. "Is this-Is this Heaven?" She nodded gravely. "So, why are my wings black? I don't underst-"  
  
"My child, you are damned." She answered sadly, resting her palm on his cheek. Sora tensed, his eyes widening. "You are to see Heaven for only a day, so as to make your suffering in hell that much more difficult. I am sorry." Her eyes showed true regret for this stranger. "Tell me, is there anyone you would like to see before you must go, or would that only make it harder for you?"  
  
"No, I-I want to see him." Sora answered, gathering up what little strength he could muster in that moment of revelation. The woman nodded again.  
  
"What is his name?"  
  
"Riku. Riku Motosuwa." Sora said firmly, so there would be no mistake.  
  
"Ah," she said knowingly, "you must be Sora." He looked at her curiously. "Do not be surprised. He speaks of you often." She paused, her temporary happiness giving way to more sorrow. "It will break his heart... to know that you cannot be together."  
  
They were both still and silent for a moment, neither knowing what to say.  
  
"Did you kill yourself for love?" She asked, almost silently.  
  
"Yes."  
  
She shook her head. "Galàndria did for me as well. I have not seen her in 200 years..." She closed her eyes, bowing her head. "I am Lórien. I will take you to Riku now. Follow me."  
  
The two pressed on in silence. Both Sora and Galàndria had made the same mistake. Sora only wished he could have known sooner how serious the consequences for his actions would be. Tears began to sting to corners of his eyes. After today, he would never see Riku again? He only wanted to see him sooner.  
  
Perhaps in hell, he would find Galàndria, and they would cry forever over the ones they were foolish enough to lose.  
  
+++  
  
No, it's not over. I tend to do this, don't I? Intend on making this big- ass thing, get about halfway done and go, 'oh, screw it; and post. Whatever.  
  
I'm going to reformat, edit, and reorganize this story into a novel-type thingy. Then I will print it and get it hardbound. Because I am crazy. No, I won't do that, but I am gonna reformat and re-post it as a novel. Because this is my best-loved fic I've ever done. 85 reviews. ^^ Yaaay... I'll make the lemon better, too, since my citrus skills have been improving.  
  
Jo, signing out.  
  
Epilogue Part Deux, coming soon. 


	15. Umm, Ah, damn

And now, a word from the author:

Ok, ya see, um, the thing about that is… +runs away+ 

But seriously, I read the epilogue again, and then realized, "I have completely forgotten where this was leading." So, therefore, I have scrapped it. Sorry to those who liked it, but, I just… No. I'm done. I'm working on the novelization, now, though, which will be a bit of a re-write. The plot will be the same, but I have this thing where I read my stuff over again and go, "God, _that_ was dumb" and so I fix it. The re-written version will be better and maybe fluffier (not sure) and the chapters will have real titles.

So, since I have your undivided attention, if you give a crap about any of my other stories, here is a short de-briefing:

I have an idea for an original fic. I need to get _Guardian_ (original fic) underway. _Break Down_ needs a new chapter. _My Moulin's_ chapter is almost done. I haven't started chapter six of _Writer's Poison_ yet, but I know exactly where it's going. Hm. I will post the first paragraphs of what I have done.  
  
_My Moulin_  
  
I've been wanting your undivided attention; I like the fact that you're nothing like me. Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your charmed life?  
  
  
The night Sora came started out like most others. It was irritatingly loud, as the hall was filled with the raucous laughter of the whores and their clients. The pounding of the rain added a sort of hypnotic rhythm to their antics. I was seated in a rather large armchair, trying to look unfazed as a migraine started to form at my temples. The atmosphere of the room was helter skelter; people ran from one side to the other, dancing, chasing, grabbing, whatever they could. Occasionally an overly dressed up doll would drag a drunken patron up the stairs to one of the many bedrooms. From my vantage point I could see the entire balcony: an endless wall of deep walnut doors which led to sparse rooms. Each had a bed and a chair (a few had nightstands), but did they really need anything more?   
  
_Break Down_  
  
"Hummm." Sora strolled glumly into his workplace, a small fast food restaurant. He already knew he was late, so why not put it off a few minutes more? He made his way to the employee room in the back behind the counter and pulled on his apron and cap. "So ugly." He sighed, opening the door only to come face to face with Yoichi Irino, the manager.

That's all. Lalala… 

  
People's eyes say I'm no damn good  
Shook down and left lonely  
Only with the maybe we could  
I stay inside cause I'm misunderstood  
I can't get no release

I'm shell shocked from some heavy blows  
A stranger to the people I know  
Who used to say "he never had a down day"  
Now I'm holding on to can't let goes  
And silence brings no peace

Because another life  
Went through my window pane  
And I don't know why  
I've got a will to burn

In attic rooms I just shut my door  
For seven weeks or maybe seven more  
It's like I face a seven headed whore  
The fight's knocked out of me

There's no measure for grief and I can't find it with the sound  
Break down, to the great god of the hand me down  
Holding the past around wound up at the lost and found  
Where the colors all turn to grey

I'm coming out of a down day  
Colorized, the city's plays a double feature today  
Life is long and something is wrong  
But I want to know what's going on (and on)

In another life  
Cause it's good again  
And it will never die  
I've got a will to burn  
To see you again  
It's like another life  
It's like I'll not get better  
Will to burn

Time goes by and I realize, that I'm alright  
You thought nothing would be the same  
But life comes round again  
Quick wits and all curious  
I'm all caught up in what you say  
And it makes me grab the time  
Before it slips away

I can't stay and I cannot wait  
And I'm grateful to whistle past a grave yard gate  
The flicker fade is getting stronger  
Like when the days start getting longer  
I got the rhythm down now in the places we warred  
The golden gate is like my diving board  
And life is pointless  
But what's so wrong with that?

Cause there's another life  
And a sweeter pain  
And it will never die  
You got a will to burn  
To see you again  
It's like another life  
I feel the whole thing happen  
The will to burn  
To see you again  
It's like another life  
I got another life  
I got another life

3eb - Another Life

(never trust a band's OS for lyrics)


End file.
